every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
