I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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