Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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