Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
