I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
