a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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