white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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