Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
