I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
