Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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