Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
