$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am naked and annoyed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize