White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
