i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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