i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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