Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
tell me about the eggs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
