I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
