You can't special order awesome
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
