People with herpes should wear stickers.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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