he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
