Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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