Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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