They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
