found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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