I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
