I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
