that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
