I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
