She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
