Cold hands, warm shart.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
