So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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