you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
