i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
