Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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