So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
