my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
