her facebook's as public as her vagina
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
