I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
