So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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