The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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