It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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