This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
