so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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