even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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