i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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