This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
