do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
