so explain again why im purple
no
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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