I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
