hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
