Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i think i just lost a toe
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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