Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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(870): View more from Arkansas

It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

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(425): View more from Washington

four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone

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(325): View more from Texas

The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?

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(248): View more from Michigan

I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.

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