Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
