Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
