no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
