plz talk dirty to me
there's paper in my vomit.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This is classic penis vs brain.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
