But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
