I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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