im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
