i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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