some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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