Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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