Betty ford says i'm here all night
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
