he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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