I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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